The Dysfunctional Bikini Top
by Kagome-Loves-Kouga
Summary: yah, lame title. anyway, it's a HOT day in the fuedal era, and Kagome gives Sango, Miroku, and herself some relief from the heat in summer outfits. Kik/Inu, Mir/Kag. oh! this is really good! Sango and Shippo planning..oh. Crap. well, read to find out!


**PAIRING: Miroku/Kagome**

**TITLE: dysfunctional bikini top.**

**GENRES: humor, romance...dunno what else.**

**AUTHOR: no duh, K.L.K! XD**

**SUMMARY: it started with one day of sitting around, and a dysfunctional bikini top.(you'll see...)**

**(A/N: Miroku NEVER proposed to Sango!! YAY!! he's free!!oooh! MINE!! okay...not mine. wahh!)**

**--it is morning --Kikiyo WILL DIE!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!(0.o' sorry... sugar rush! whee!! okay...she won't die, but she'll barely even be in this, I swear!)**

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"hey, Kagome!! you can sit around today... I have something that I need to talk to Kikiyo about." Inuyasha said as he hopped off towards a soul-stealer.

"of course you can, Inuyasha..." Kagome waited till he was out of earshot. she went over to a smooth-barked tree, and beat her head against it." you son of a bitch shithead bastard of a hanyou!!" she hissed the last part.

Miroku looked over at her, concerned.

Sango really didn't care,Shippo was asleep still, and Kilala was like her mistress, uncaring.

"erm...Kagome-sama? why are you still upset?" the houshi asked the still-hitting-her-head-against-the-tree Miko.

"because...he...just...won't...stop...lying...even...though...i'm...not...mad!" after the sentence stopped, she quit torturing the poor tree trunk, and sat down next to Miroku. she was sweaty, and she took out a Bikini top, and some tight jean shorts. she went behind a tree, and changed.

she came out, and Miroku, Sango, and the newly-awakened Shippo stared at her.

"NANI!? it's a summer top, and some shorts!! it's too hot today, even though it's this early..."the others shrugged, and Kagome gave Sango her own summer outfit, and some trunks for Shippo, along with some black and purple shorts and white tank for Miroku. they all changed behind different trees, they came out, and the clothes fit them, and they were more comfortable.

"Thank you, Lady Kagome! these are much more comfortable than my robes."the houshi said, voice full of relief from the hot robings he usually wore. he still wore the gauntlet, but it couldn't be helped.

there was a loud scream of passion from the direction that Inuyasha had leapt to. Miroku fell over, Sango turned bright red, Shippo didn't know what THAT scream meant, and Kagome really didn't do a thing.

"jeeze! do they have to scream that loud?! last time they told me they would be quiet!" she mumbled as she searched in her pack, and pulled out earplugs for Shippo and Kilala, who could hear everything. she stuck the earplugs in thier ears, and they just went back to playing.

"they do THAT everytime?" Sango muttered/asked, still doing a VERY good impression of a beet-red tomato.

"yep. sometimes they're louder..."Kagome said, not shocked at all.she waited about ten more minutes,Silence followed. then she sighed."I better go see if they killed each other yet." and she took her bow and arrow. she started to walk, when Miroku rushed to catch up with her, holding his staff.

"you go to make sure they DON'T KILL each other? I always thought you were a maschoist, Kagome-sama." the houshi said.

"eh? oh, the whole, wimpy-crying thing? that's only so people won't find out a secret..." she trailed off, surprising the monk.

"soooo... what IS the secret?"he asked, not expecting an answer, boy was he surprised at the one he got!

"well, you're a lecher, so I gotta tell ya, the secret is I'm a lecher too."

"whazzat!?" Miroku said as he tripped over a tree root. she looked down at him, laughed, then helped him up.

"yep. I'm ABOUT as bad as you. I kinda figured it out when my hand started twitching, and without my knowledge, groped a poor, innocent boy in my time named Hojo. he left me alone after that...he was always trying to steal my heart, but I ended up copping a feel!" she said, chuckling.

"wha...? okay...not what I expected, but I guessed so." he said.

"I was that obious?"

"yes, you were, except to everyone but me. Inuyasha still acts as if you're fifteen, yet you're 16 now, and as old as me."

Kagome paused." you're only 16? I guessed twenty..." she came to a clearing, then took a deep breath and parted the foliage.

Inuyasha and Kikiyo were naked, Inuyasha pumping into her. they both had a sheen of sweat covering thier forms.

Kagome looked at Miroku,who was staring at the...well, really gross sight, gagging. sighed inaudibably, and shouted at the couple.

"OI!! PAY MORE ATTENTION TO YOUR SURROUNDINGS, LOVEBIRDS!!" she finished with an amused smile on her face. she walked closer as they scrambled to cover themselves.

"K-kagome...I C-can e-explain-"

"Inuyasha ,tsk ,tsk! I'm not mad, really. I'm happy for you and Kik. but, really. you need to stop lying to me, alright?" she asked the blushing hanyou.

"and don't worry about it. i've seen it all before, and I moved on. oh, and go find a HUT. really. you two are just begging for all the demons of the forest to beat up on your asses." she said. the two, who were still naked,nodded, and put thier clothes on.

"erm...Kagome? what ARE you wearing?" Inuyasha asked.

"oh, summer outfit. too hot out here. I gave one to Sango, and Miroku got some shorts and a tank top . they looked like they were about to have heat strokes any minute." the two nodded, then wandered off to find a hut to use for thier...erm...activities.

"so, Miroku? want to go swimming?" the miko asked the houshi."the shorts you are wearing are swimming trunks." she said.

"sure...why not?" he said, then they went over to a lake that wasn't far away. the two got there, and Kagome took off her shorts, exposing the bikini bottoms underneath. Miroku took off his shirt, and they hopped into the cool water.

Kagome was floating on her back, when a certain houshi went underwater, and untied her top. it fell off, and Kagome shrieked.

"Miroku!! give it back!!" she yelled, amused and not mad in the least. they somehow made it to the shore, and Kagome leaned over him, trying to get her top. next thing she knew, they were both on the ground, lips locked.

Kagome thought no more, although there was one thought in her head.

'we got pushed...thank god for this stupid dysfunctional bikini top...it wouldn't have come off so easily...'

then she succumbed to Miroku's kiss.

-  
over in the trees.

Shippo and Sango gave each other a high five. Finally! those two got together!!

they had all planned it, from the start. heh. wonder how mad they would be when they knew they were set up. Sango looked at the couple, now in a more, erm...comprimising position, then she picked up Shippo, and went back to camp to await them, after they were done with thier 'activities'.

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**K.L.K- soooooooooooo? how was it? Sango and Shippo planned the whole thing...heh.this is a one-shot. I WILL NOT add on to this, unless I feel like it.**

**See the purpley, blue button? push it, and review!!**

**DO IT!!(twitchy twitch)**


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